A Slight Return to the Madness
- by Josh Murray
Of course, it’s been one of “those” weeks: work started back up (yards needed to be mowed). On top of that, I spent Wednesday and Thursday in bed, depressed as usual (I wish people knew what it meant to literally not be able to get out of bed).
Continue ReadingYou Walk on Eggshells, I Walk Thru Fire
- by Josh Murray
Someone close to me recently had their first panic attack and described it as the most frightening experience of their life. Equating it to what a mental/emotional/physical heart attack might hypothetically feel like, it was evident that this person had been truly affected by this incident. And not in any positive way.
Continue ReadingAnd They’re Coming to Take Me Away Now: A Rant
- by Josh Murray
As someone with bipolar disorder, I have a lot of experience in feeling awkward or out of place because of my condition, when said condition is known. It’s nothing new, and although it never “gets easier” you learn to go along with it. Sometimes you got to get ahead of the charade before you become the charade.
Continue ReadingThe End of the Whole Mess
- by Josh Murray
If it hadn’t happened to me and if it wasn’t true, it might almost be comical. Last time I was here blogging I was describing the tranquility needed at the end of a trip of any sort. If you remember, my family and I extended our little getaway an extra day to be used only to recharge and recuperate. Which I guess in theory sounded great. It really did. That was right up until the next morning before we checked out.
Continue ReadingAnother Pause: The Little Things
- by Josh Murray
So, we decided to stay another night just to have a full evening of recovery and relaxation (reading for me) before we make the seven-hour plus drive home. We’ve had a full day of family fun and it seemed like a no-brainer to take a night to unwind before we headed home; no need in going home so worn out that the trip becomes something we want to forget. Also, we all seemed to be excited at the idea of just getting to sit around and read or write or color.
Continue ReadingMeditation: Could it Work for Me?
- by Josh Murray
Though I’ve never found any of the generic “coping skills” that work for me, I have noticed that meditation is on every list. Just another bullet point: mediation.
Continue Reading10 Essential Writing Tips from Stephen King’s “On Writing”
- by Josh Murray
In 2002 Stephen King temporarily gave up on writing bestselling novels and wrote a little book chronicling his rise to fame and discussing exactly … 10 Essential Writing Tips from Stephen King’s “On Writing”
Continue ReadingA Pause for the Cause
- by Josh Murray
We’ve done very little as far as “touristy” things go, to be honest, but that’s been just fine with me. I come down here enough to know that this is the part of the trip that matters.
Continue ReadingOPINION: Mental Health & the Divine? (Just a Pitch)
- by Josh Murray
A newly released study is tying people’s religious uncertainty and lack of faith in the divine to poor mental and psychological well-being.
Continue ReadingHappy Birthday, Jack!
- by Josh Murray
When I was 14 (as cliché as this is going to sound), I read a series of books that either opened up doors for me or that I just liked. And again (as cliché as it sounds), On the Road was one of them. Of course, it was a book that changed the playing field, but for me, it was the introduction to a bigger world.
Continue ReadingAn Inconvenient Truth: Shame, Regret, and My Ugly Theory
- by Josh Murray
If this were of any consequence and if I were a person of any significance, this one certain belief/opinion I have regarding a specific matter I hold would most likely be considered controversial or just plain ignorant. No, it’s not political, or derogatory in any other fashion. It’s a simple idea on what some may call a “philosophical” matter, but for me, it’s really a non-issue.
Continue ReadingTelehealth: The Good vs the Bad
- by Josh Murray
When COVID made its grand debut back in early 2020, no one was sure how serious it was going to be. That is until there was a massive shortage of things like milk, bread and toilet paper (in my area it was a complete wipeout). But no one expected the breadth of things to come until people’s personal health and medical treatment were on the line.
Continue Readinga day in the life: one day at a time
- by Josh Murray
First off, work is picking back up as the warmer weather is (maybe) finally starting to settle in. I work for both a lawncare and a construction company. Yards will need to be mowed; houses will need to be built or repaired. Things are about to pick up and get busy. It’ll be mornings of rushing to get the kids shipped out to whoever is watching them on that day by 6 am. It’ll be the “get-up-and-go” this household really needs.
Continue ReadingOn the Fear of Death, Dying, & Drowning
- by Josh Murray
It’s a subject as old as time, and a personal dilemma everyone experiences at some point in their lives: the fear of death and dying.
Continue ReadingFood for Thought: Blogging and its Impact on the Brain
- by Josh Murray
If the mind is truly like a muscle, then blogging must be the last leg of a 10-mile race. That might seemf like hyperbole, but it’s actually based in some reality.
Continue ReadingAnd then there was Ketamine…
- by Josh Murray
I did my first round a few months ago and I could tell an immediate difference. But the farther apart each treatment is the less effective it will be.
Continue Readinga day in the life: oh, sweet depression
- by Josh Murray
It’s been one of those days, and if it’s anything like the last half of yesterday then you can count me out.
Continue ReadingAnd Don’t Go Out Smiling: A Poem
- by Josh Murray
And don’t go out smiling-
In the reverie of death’s sweet delivery,
a smile would only cloud,
and be monstrous….
H. Town: A Poem
- by Josh Murray
If these city blocks could talk, would you hear the hollow echo of my soul’s soles, edging around the lonely buildings, thru the twisted and deformed night?
Continue ReadingBipolar Disorder in the Workplace
- by Josh Murray
I would say I can’t be the only one with bipolar disorder who knows how well this disease operates under the pressures of a job and workplace, but I already know that I’m not; it’s a topic that is oftent used when writing about bipolar disorder. It may seem like a tired beat, and I certainly do not have anything new to add to the conversation. My experiences are not uncommon or unique. They are just mine. But I’m assuming you already know that if you’re here reading this.
Continue ReadingSex, Drugs, and Stupidity: My Manic Self
- by Josh Murray
It’s cliche, yes, but nonetheless it comes with the territory. Part metaphors, part exaggeration, “sex, drugs, and mania” pretty much sums up my personal experience with the dangerous and unpredictable nature of the madness.
Continue ReadingWhen the Music’s Over, Turn Out the Lights
- by Josh Murray
As a musician and just as a human being on a very basic level, music is a key part of my every day. I’m making no correlation between the madness and the necessity of music in one’s life, it’s just a fact: music is a key part of my life.
Continue Readinga day in the life: manic monday
- by Josh Murray
“If I can’t feel, if I can’t move, if I can’t think, and I can’t care, then what conceivable point is there in living?” – Kay Redfield Jamison It’s been a pretty “blah” week on my end of things, personally and professionally that is. My wife has been sick, so I’ve tried to pick up…
Continue ReadingOld Age, or Something Like It
- by Josh Murray
You know that expression “You don’t know what you got until it’s gone”? Well, boy, is it true!
Continue Readinga day in the life: dreams to remember
- by Josh Murray
My life, though, for the sake of only a little bit of remembrance, appears to me in broken, fragmented passages of cloudy polaroids. But I do think there is something special in the knowing – the remembrance – of one’s life.
Continue ReadingMarch Only Comes Once a Year
- by Josh Murray
Having bipolar disorder is like standing on the edge of a cliff in a thunderstorm: there’s an intense beauty about it, but ultimately in the end it’s just not a good idea. And that’s okay. It’s a well-known fact that if you play with fire, you just might get burned.
Continue ReadingIn Through The Out Door
- by Josh Murray
I have recently (and finally) set out to work on a “bigger project” I’ve imagined for some time now. I’ve only just gotten to the point in attempting to pursue this particular endeavor after both exhaustive research and personal experience.
Continue ReadingChaos: The Downside to the Downward Spiral
- by Josh Murray
I’m not entirely sure what the actual verbatim textbook definition of the word “chaos” is, but I know for me it can only be described as a constant state of mental confusion and disorganization that leaves me in a place of total loss.
Continue ReadingThey Didn’t Break The Mold With Me
- by Josh Murray
In our modern day and age it can be easy to get wrapped up in oneself under even the most “typical” or “normal” circumstances. But when graced with a mental illness, any mental illness, those of us afflicted can sometimes really get lost in our own slanted egos.
Continue Readinga day in the life: mind over mania
- by Josh Murray
“You know how most illnesses have symptoms you can recognize? Well, with manic depression, it’s sexual promiscuity, excessive spending, and substance abuse—and that just sounds like a fantastic weekend in Vegas to me!” – Carrie Fisher It seems the older I get the less I enjoy the mania. At one point in my life, though,…
Continue ReadingOPINION: Religious Radicalism Leads to Extremist Attack on Texas Synagogue
- by Josh Murray
Antisemitism is nothing new in a world still all too familiar with the haunting images of the concentration camps of WWII and the emaciated survivors of the Holocaust. However, after the atrocities perpetrated by the Nazis on the Jewish people, it should be harder to believe we haven’t come a little bit farther as human beings.
Continue ReadingSPOTLIGHT: Kurt Cobain
- by Josh Murray
Not all days are bad days, and sometimes I have nothing in particular I need or want to say. So, I started a little “Spotlight” segment in which I talk about someone of cultural prominence who suffers from bipolar disorder. The idea is to use a “poof”-style piece to shine a light on said chosen person. It’s a personal exercise and challenge, and also helps make this illness just a tad more relatable. This is my second “Spotlight” piece, the first of which was on Vincent Van Gogh.
Continue ReadingOPINION: A Timeless Debate, “Prayer In School” Remains A Divisive Issue
- by Josh Murray
The debate over prayer in school has been one of high contention for decades now, and with the dispute still making headlines it only makes me wonder if any real progress or headway has been made. Or will ever be made.
Continue ReadingStuck In The Middle With Me: The Crash, Burn, and (1st) Revival
- by Josh Murray
From the ages of 15 – 25 I was in a total tailspin without being aware that anything was wrong (there’s a lot in that 10-year period that could act as a general testament to human stupidity, so we’ll save that for another day). However, it was right before my 25th birthday that it was more than clear that I needed help.
Continue Readinga day in the life: a slight return
- by Josh Murray
“Self-care is how you take your power back.” – Lalah Delia From a short break I return! A break, for once, not brought on by my own illness, but on the one my wife and two of my sons have been afflicted with over the past week. Yes, the dreadful and divisive covid finally made…
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