Sex, Drugs, and Stupidity: My Manic Self
- by Josh Murray
It’s cliche, yes, but nonetheless it comes with the territory. Part metaphors, part exaggeration, “sex, drugs, and mania” pretty much sums up my personal experience with the dangerous and unpredictable nature of the madness.
Continue ReadingWhen the Music’s Over, Turn Out the Lights
- by Josh Murray
As a musician and just as a human being on a very basic level, music is a key part of my every day. I’m making no correlation between the madness and the necessity of music in one’s life, it’s just a fact: music is a key part of my life.
Continue Readinga day in the life: manic monday
- by Josh Murray
“If I can’t feel, if I can’t move, if I can’t think, and I can’t care, then what conceivable point is there in living?” – Kay Redfield Jamison It’s been a pretty “blah” week on my end of things, personally and professionally that is. My wife has been sick, so I’ve tried to pick up…
Continue ReadingOld Age, or Something Like It
- by Josh Murray
You know that expression “You don’t know what you got until it’s gone”? Well, boy, is it true!
Continue Readinga day in the life: dreams to remember
- by Josh Murray
My life, though, for the sake of only a little bit of remembrance, appears to me in broken, fragmented passages of cloudy polaroids. But I do think there is something special in the knowing – the remembrance – of one’s life.
Continue ReadingIn Through The Out Door
- by Josh Murray
I have recently (and finally) set out to work on a “bigger project” I’ve imagined for some time now. I’ve only just gotten to the point in attempting to pursue this particular endeavor after both exhaustive research and personal experience.
Continue ReadingChaos: The Downside to the Downward Spiral
- by Josh Murray
I’m not entirely sure what the actual verbatim textbook definition of the word “chaos” is, but I know for me it can only be described as a constant state of mental confusion and disorganization that leaves me in a place of total loss.
Continue ReadingThey Didn’t Break The Mold With Me
- by Josh Murray
In our modern day and age it can be easy to get wrapped up in oneself under even the most “typical” or “normal” circumstances. But when graced with a mental illness, any mental illness, those of us afflicted can sometimes really get lost in our own slanted egos.
Continue Readinga day in the life: mind over mania
- by Josh Murray
“You know how most illnesses have symptoms you can recognize? Well, with manic depression, it’s sexual promiscuity, excessive spending, and substance abuse—and that just sounds like a fantastic weekend in Vegas to me!” – Carrie Fisher It seems the older I get the less I enjoy the mania. At one point in my life, though,…
Continue ReadingSPOTLIGHT: Kurt Cobain
- by Josh Murray
Not all days are bad days, and sometimes I have nothing in particular I need or want to say. So, I started a little “Spotlight” segment in which I talk about someone of cultural prominence who suffers from bipolar disorder. The idea is to use a “poof”-style piece to shine a light on said chosen person. It’s a personal exercise and challenge, and also helps make this illness just a tad more relatable. This is my second “Spotlight” piece, the first of which was on Vincent Van Gogh.
Continue ReadingWriting, or Something Like It
- by Josh Murray
“For me, the first sign of oncoming madness is that I’m unable to write.” – Marya Hornbacher, Madness: A Bipolar Life It’s funny how certain traits and talents go when in the throes of either a manic or depressive period. And it’s funny how others become amplified. Well, as someone in between cycles and bracing…
Continue Readinga day in the life: hope(ful)
- by Josh Murray
“For too long we have swept the problems of mental illness under the carpet… and hoped that they would go away.” – Richard Codey Whoever said “hope springs eternal” never offered me any sound advice on the mantra. Despite being someone who operates from a place of hopelessness, hope seems to be all I have…
Continue ReadingMe, Myself, & the Genetic Connection?
- by Josh Murray
As I’ve mentioned before, there is no one, direct cause when it comes to bipolar disorder. However, it is known that approximately 80% of the cause has been traced back to genetics. And with the heritability rate of bipolar disorder being off the charts, it’s only natural for me to wonder who is responsible for passing this on down the line to me.
Continue ReadingLithium: Bipolar disorder’s gateway drug
- by Josh Murray
With there being dozens of different medications available for the treatment of bipolar disorder, one has remained a main go-to for nearly a century: lithium.
Continue ReadingLong-term effects of bipolar disorder
- by Josh Murray
We all know thar the exact cause of bipolar disorder is still unknown, and it’s unclear at times which is more important: finding the root cause of the disorder or treating the symptoms. One would probably argue the first option, but some of this disease’s symptoms and the extremes one can experience can, at times, outweigh the need to know why.
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