Tag: mood disorder

a day in the life: one day at a time

First off, work is picking back up as the warmer weather is (maybe) finally starting to settle in. I work for both a lawncare and a construction company. Yards will need to be mowed; houses will need to be built or repaired. Things are about to pick up and get busy. It’ll be mornings of rushing to get the kids shipped out to whoever is watching them on that day by 6 am. It’ll be the “get-up-and-go” this household really needs.

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On the Fear of Death, Dying, & Drowning

It’s a subject as old as time, and a personal dilemma everyone experiences at some point in their lives: the fear of death and dying.

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Food for Thought: Blogging and its Impact on the Brain

If the mind is truly like a muscle, then blogging must be the last leg of a 10-mile race. That might seemf like hyperbole, but it’s actually based in some reality.

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And then there was Ketamine…

I did my first round a few months ago and I could tell an immediate difference. But the farther apart each treatment is the less effective it will be.

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a day in the life: oh, sweet depression

It’s been one of those days, and if it’s anything like the last half of yesterday then you can count me out.

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And Don’t Go Out Smiling: A Poem

And don’t go out smiling-
In the reverie of death’s sweet delivery,
a smile would only cloud,
and be monstrous….

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H. Town: A Poem

If these city blocks could talk, would you hear the hollow echo of my soul’s soles, edging around the lonely buildings, thru the twisted and deformed night?

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Bipolar Disorder in the Workplace

I would say I can’t be the only one with bipolar disorder who knows how well this disease operates under the pressures of a job and workplace, but I already know that I’m not; it’s a topic that is oftent used when writing about bipolar disorder. It may seem like a tired beat, and I certainly do not have anything new to add to the conversation. My experiences are not uncommon or unique. They are just mine. But I’m assuming you already know that if you’re here reading this.

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Sex, Drugs, and Stupidity: My Manic Self

It’s cliche, yes, but nonetheless it comes with the territory. Part metaphors, part exaggeration, “sex, drugs, and mania” pretty much sums up my personal experience with the dangerous and unpredictable nature of the madness.

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When the Music’s Over, Turn Out the Lights

As a musician and just as a human being on a very basic level, music is a key part of my every day. I’m making no correlation between the madness and the necessity of music in one’s life, it’s just a fact: music is a key part of my life.

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a day in the life: manic monday

“If I can’t feel, if I can’t move, if I can’t think, and I can’t care, then what conceivable point is there in living?” – Kay Redfield Jamison It’s been a pretty “blah” week on my end of things, personally and professionally that is. My wife has been sick, so I’ve tried to pick up…

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Old Age, or Something Like It

You know that expression “You don’t know what you got until it’s gone”? Well, boy, is it true!

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a day in the life: dreams to remember

My life, though, for the sake of only a little bit of remembrance, appears to me in broken, fragmented passages of cloudy polaroids. But I do think there is something special in the knowing – the remembrance – of one’s life.

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March Only Comes Once a Year

Having bipolar disorder is like standing on the edge of a cliff in a thunderstorm: there’s an intense beauty about it, but ultimately in the end it’s just not a good idea. And that’s okay. It’s a well-known fact that if you play with fire, you just might get burned.

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In Through The Out Door

I have recently (and finally) set out to work on a “bigger project” I’ve imagined for some time now. I’ve only just gotten to the point in attempting to pursue this particular endeavor after both exhaustive research and personal experience.

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Chaos: The Downside to the Downward Spiral

I’m not entirely sure what the actual verbatim textbook definition of the word “chaos” is, but I know for me it can only be described as a constant state of mental confusion and disorganization that leaves me in a place of total loss.

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They Didn’t Break The Mold With Me

In our modern day and age it can be easy to get wrapped up in oneself under even the most “typical” or “normal” circumstances. But when graced with a mental illness, any mental illness, those of us afflicted can sometimes really get lost in our own slanted egos.

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a day in the life: mind over mania

“You know how most illnesses have symptoms you can recognize? Well, with manic depression, it’s sexual promiscuity, excessive spending, and substance abuse—and that just sounds like a fantastic weekend in Vegas to me!” – Carrie Fisher It seems the older I get the less I enjoy the mania. At one point in my life, though,…

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SPOTLIGHT: Kurt Cobain

Not all days are bad days, and sometimes I have nothing in particular I need or want to say. So, I started a little “Spotlight” segment in which I talk about someone of cultural prominence who suffers from bipolar disorder. The idea is to use a “poof”-style piece to shine a light on said chosen person. It’s a personal exercise and challenge, and also helps make this illness just a tad more relatable. This is my second “Spotlight” piece, the first of which was on Vincent Van Gogh.

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Stuck In The Middle With Me: The Crash, Burn, and (1st) Revival

From the ages of 15 – 25 I was in a total tailspin without being aware that anything was wrong (there’s a lot in that 10-year period that could act as a general testament to human stupidity, so we’ll save that for another day). However, it was right before my 25th birthday that it was more than clear that I needed help.

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Writing, or Something Like It

“For me, the first sign of oncoming madness is that I’m unable to write.” – Marya Hornbacher, Madness: A Bipolar Life It’s funny how certain traits and talents go when in the throes of either a manic or depressive period. And it’s funny how others become amplified. Well, as someone in between cycles and bracing…

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Doom & Gloom: The Lonely Lows

Most people know that bipolar disorder is a mental health condition characterized by extreme mood swings. That’s about as much as they know, though; the rest is just assumed. But anyone with bipolar disorder knows the feeling of the crash and comedown that comes after a bout of mania or hypomania.

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My Cracked Faith

Nietzsche said faith is not wanting to know what the truth is. And as a dutiful nihilist, I would be remiss to even try and feign a belief in a Christian God.

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a day in the life: hope(ful)

“For too long we have swept the problems of mental illness under the carpet… and hoped that they would go away.” – Richard Codey Whoever said “hope springs eternal” never offered me any sound advice on the mantra. Despite being someone who operates from a place of hopelessness, hope seems to be all I have…

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Me, Myself, & the Genetic Connection?

As I’ve mentioned before, there is no one, direct cause when it comes to bipolar disorder. However, it is known that approximately 80% of the cause has been traced back to genetics. And with the heritability rate of bipolar disorder being off the charts, it’s only natural for me to wonder who is responsible for passing this on down the line to me.

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New Year, Which Me? Resolutions for the Unstable

You hear it at the beginning of every year. “New year, new me.” It hardly ever seems to work out that way but it’s a nice thought. If you are one of the lucky ones, though, then good for you.

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SPOTLIGHT: Vincent Van Gogh

I’ve mentioned before in this blog the possible link between creativity and bipolar disorder and first person who comes to mind when thinking about this theory is Vincent Van Gogh.

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Lithium: Bipolar disorder’s gateway drug

With there being dozens of different medications available for the treatment of bipolar disorder, one has remained a main go-to for nearly a century: lithium.

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Long-term effects of bipolar disorder

We all know thar the exact cause of bipolar disorder is still unknown, and it’s unclear at times which is more important: finding the root cause of the disorder or treating the symptoms. One would probably argue the first option, but some of this disease’s symptoms and the extremes one can experience can, at times, outweigh the need to know why.

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a day in the life: part 1

It goes without saying those dealing with bipolar disorder have to handle themselves on a day-to-day basis. Second-to-second, at time.

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Stuck In The Middle With Me: A Brief Introduction

My personal battle with the big, bad bipolar disorder has been a long one. Seventeen years, in fact. I was 15 when I was first diagnosed. I was 17 when I was diagnosed for the second time. But it wasn’t until I was 24 that I first started to seek out treatment

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The Mad Genius: The Link Between Bipolar Disorder and Creativity

Throughout history there have been innumerable artists, musicians, and just overall creative powerhouses who have suffered from bipolar disorder. So many, in fact, it has raised the question of whether a link exists between bipolar disorder and creativity.

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Coping skills: The lost art of my self-preservation

For me, coping skills are, for lack of a better phrase, a bunch of bullshit. I have no concept of any sort of coping skills, especially in the moments I need skills to cope.

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Bipolar Disorder & the Holidays

The holidays can be a tricky time of year for someone with bipolar disorder. “Doom, gloom, and dread” often take the place of “peace, love, and joy”, creating a brand new can of worms that no one looks forward to. Not only are you not the life of the party, you might very well be its death knell.

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The Big 4: Types & Phases

Bipolar disorder is a mental illness that features extremes between manic states and depressive states. That’s your basic, textbook definition, anyway. What gets lost in translation is the fact that there is more than just one type of bipolar disorder.

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